Leader: Book Three (Princes of Prophecy 3) Page 2

  She nods. “But Aubrey.” Tears fall again.

  “What happened to Aubrey isn’t something we should ever forget. Her life was changed in a moment of anger. It’s that moment that we need to remember. They’ll never get past being a victim if we don’t give them the support to move forward. They are moving forward.”

  “That’s what Brenda says. My mother said so much; I have no idea what’s true.” She’s disgusted with herself for believing.

  I take a minute to get it straight in my head. “Your mother was grieving Petey.” I get the snort again. “She was scared, hurt and angry. Whatever she said were just words. You have the memories of your father to fall back on. Look at them without her words warping those memories. Look at what you know as facts.”

  She’s nodding and more relaxed. I slide her on my lap and hope to Christ I don’t get hard. “I know your dad loved you and Brenda more than anything in the world. He was there for riding lessons, he helped with Little Brothers, and he taught you how you should be treated by a man. Those are what you should be looking at. Throw out what your mom told you. Remember what he showed you.”

  “You’re right. My mom isn’t innocent in all this.” I keep my mouth shut. She is nothing to me but the woman that took Lily away. “I have a lot to think about. Thanks for being you, Little Ben. Brenda is a little more graphic, but says basically the same thing.”

  I stand and set her down. “You have an early class. I need to get you back.”

  She smiles and I can just barely make it out. “I’m seeing my sister tomorrow. She’s so damn cute isn’t she?”

  I laugh holding her hand. “Yeah, she is. She’s special like the others.” She doesn’t say anymore, but I catch her smile as she climbs on the bike.

  At the dorm the douche is still sitting on the porch. “I forgot my key,” he says as I walk Lily up.

  What the fuck? She looks at him for a minute. “The RA couldn’t let you in?”

  “He’s your roommate?” I’ll kill him with my bare hands.

  “Relax Badass Biker. You’re more my type than she is.”

  The fuckin’ douche thinks he’s funny? I turn Lily around. “Is there a reason I don’t know this?”

  She rolls her eyes at me. “He’s not dressed today, but most of the time he’s borrowing my clothes.”

  I clench my jaw. I am not doing this in front of him, but she isn’t sleeping in the same room as the douche. He’s still got a dick. I bend and kiss her cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow in the yard.” Since she moves for me I’m taking it as another good sign. I don’t even look at the douche, but turn and walk to my bike. I need to get her away from here and into the yard.

  Two years earlier

  I watch her playing with Aubrey. They have a similar look to them. Whereas Aubrey is open and trusting, when she should be the least trusting person I know, Lily is still working through what her mother told her. Thank fuck she’s on the compound and has the family to support her.

  “She let you in yet?” Jessie asks sitting beside me.

  I shake my head no. How the fuck did taking an old lady get so hard? Everyone around me just claims them and they’ve lived through more horrors than Lily ever will. “Jeremy thinks it’s when she’s done with school.”

  “Fuck. Mary is lucky she moved away.” He’s thinking Kate would love to punch her in the face.

  Whatever the fuck her mother did messed her head up. Brenda keeps telling me to be patient. I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do here.

  “Is she doing the online?”

  “No. She’s got more than two years with the Security specialty.” He’s thinking that’s fucked up, but doesn’t say anything.

  Darren sits. ‘At least you got her on the compound.’ How he follows shit is a mystery to me. I nod. It took fuckin’ forever, but I did without it looking like I did.

  One year and nine months later

  I’m at KC and Sheila calls. “I thought she knew we were moving. She’s headed your way Brother and she’s pissed.” Fuck. I don’t have to ask who. I know.

  I clear my desk and call down telling them to let her through then watch the feeds. She’s wiping her eyes as she gets closer to my door. I drop the feed down and go open it for her. “You’re leaving!” she yells before she’s even in.

  “Not leaving, moving an hour and a half away. Twenty minutes by chopper,” I say softly hoping she takes the hint.

  Her hands go to her hips. “I wasn’t important enough for you to tell me?”

  She’s hurt, it’s radiating off her. “You’re the most important person in my life. You just went through hell, just getting to where you trust me. I wasn’t hiding it. I was waiting to tell you when I got definite plans made. I’m still here Lily. Nothing changes between us.”

  Her mouth falls open. “Nothing changes? You’re leaving! You didn’t even tell me you’re leaving you were just going to go.” I hate fuckin’ tears.

  “I was telling you. This was all a shock to me too. I had no fuckin’ clue this was coming. It’s been one thing after another with the merge. Aubrey, Jeremy, you and my fuckin’ job. It isn’t like I had years to plan all this shit. I’m hit with shit daily and doing my best to keep ahead of it.” I’m not getting through so I stop.

  “Take me off your list. That will give you more time to stay ahead of the SHIT that’s hitting you!” She spins around, but I hold the door above her head so she can’t open it.

  “You are mine. You have always been mine.” With my free hand I pull the hair away from my face. “I’m opening a Chapter in the new town and plan on making it a replica of this one. We will shelter women just like here. That is for you. You are always part of my plans Lily. You just started trusting me and I was afraid you’d react just like this.” I wait for her to turn or look at me or something. Fuck! I move my hand off the door.

  She doesn’t turn. “You keep telling me that I’m yours, Little Ben. When do you become mine? When do you share your life with me? Maybe we need to grow up a little more and learn how to be that for each other. I know nothing about your life aside from what you deem necessary for me to know, when you feel I should know it. That’s not the life I want. That’s not the man I want to be with.” She walks out. Fuck!

  I lean on the door. Why did I not see this coming? She’s pissed, she’s hurt and she’s right. All the fuckin’ shit in my head and I can’t seem to get my own fuckin’ life straight.

  One year earlier

  I walk out of the patio and head for my house. I’m planning a party when it’s the last thing I want to do. We’re a year in and surpassed all we thought we would. I can’t complain about how the Club is growing.

  I think about Lily as I get on my bike. Uncle Danny says I need to talk to her. Pres says I need to keep shit separate and she needs to understand that I can’t talk about everything with her. I’ve been going up and talking about the struggles we’ve had. I don’t get up as much as I’d like, but she’s not giving me anything to say she wants to see me more. So I see Shelly. Not really, I’m always behind her so I don’t have to see her. This is not the life I pictured here. It’s lonely as fuck and I can’t do anything to change it right now. According to Jeremy and Dakota we have more shit coming.

  Six months earlier

  “I need help Lily.”

  She looks at me as if I’m lying. “What do you need?”

  Why is this so hard? “We’re breaking ground on the shelter apartments and have three houses up. Kate says it’s the way they should have done it, but they didn’t have choices then. I don’t know what the fuck is needed and I can’t keep bothering Kate. We have one house on the compound right now. It’s wired the way Kate said, but it feels wrong. As soon as someone steps in the house with the woman in it the feeds go live.”

  She looks shocked. I didn’t think it sounded right. “Kate said it should be like that on the compound?”

  I push my hair back and nod. “I’m not going to lie and I’m not try
ing to hide anything from you. This is not a job I was trained for. I didn’t pay attention to the shelter women except for Tess and Natalie. I have no fuckin’ clue what to do in my own fuckin’ yard. I took the shelters thinking you’d be there. I don’t know how to get you there and I don’t know where I stand with you.”

  She sits back looking surprised. “I thought I was yours?” What? “You’ve been coming to see me, telling me everything or what you can, and making us right. I didn’t realize you didn’t feel that way. I finally got to where I think it’s going right and you changed your mind without me knowing?”

  I run through every fuck I know, trying to remember how Cloud says them. She’s not looking at me so I lift her chin. Fuckin’ tears again. “You are mine. I hope that you feel I’m yours too. I’m trying here Lily. I can read every fuckin’ person but you. Dakota can’t read Jess either so it’s the way it is. I need you to talk to me too. I don’t get anything unless you’re pissed or really happy. I want us together yesterday. I’m so fuckin’ tired of being alone.” Something is on her mind, but her tears are gone. I’m so glad she’s not wearing all the makeup anymore.

  “You said you won’t lie to me. Have you been to the whores at the Club when you come to see me?”

  “No.” Why the fuck would she think that? I wouldn’t disrespect her in her own yard. Christ.

  She nods. “Thank you. I didn’t believe it, but overheard them talking.”

  “It wasn’t about me or it’s ancient history. My time there is spent with you or the family.”

  Her whole face changes to happy and I get a real smile. “I don’t think the compound house should have the feeds running on the inside unless it’s a high risk threat. You have more than adequate Security and you trust the men you have at the gate. With the Officers on the property it seems a little overkill to have those inside feeds running. To me it seems invasive. How are they supposed to feel like they can talk freely about what happened if they always feel like someone is watching?”

  I nod. Thank fuck we think alike. “That’s what I thought too. It feels wrong. Do we need the feeds in the singles apartments?”

  She shakes her head no. “I think if it’s a high risk threat you do until the threat is gone. Then it should be off so the women feel secure in their own space. Outside is different. They should always see the feeds as security for them, but inside is just a different form of control.”

  I think about that. “Because we’re taking away their ability to be free and have reactions that aren’t guarded; we’re imposing a form of control over them.” She’s nodding. I pull my phone and text Darren to add it to the book. “We have a book of procedures being put together based on what we learn and know. Can you look at it?”

  She’s watching me and I can’t figure out the look on her face. “I thought I was going down there when I finish school. Aubrey says that I am. I just assumed I was. You asking me about a book, for a job I thought was mine, gives me reason to doubt that.”

  “I mean now. Can you look at it before you get there?” I’m going to fuck it up again. I am so fuckin’ tired.

  “Yes. I’ll look at your book.” At least she’s smiling.

  I wonder if I should tell her or hold it. Fuck it. Maybe she can help. “I haven’t been sleeping. Darren found his old lady. She was like Tess, a slave for the Outlaws. She went through some shit, but she’s HS. I had to put more on her to keep her being a slave from getting out. It’s fuckin’ with my head.”

  She smiles. “Eliza. We’ve met. She brought Maryellen back to Tess. She seems like a strong woman. Whatever you had to do I’m sure she understood. I think it’s better to keep it a secret for as long as the secret can last. She seems confident with Darren. She’s wearing his cut.” She looks away.

  “They’re getting married.” She nods, but is looking around the café. “Look at me Lily.” She does. “Tell me what’s going through your head.”

  She looks in my eyes. “I feel like we’re getting to where we need to be, but you don’t touch me. Am I doing something wrong?”

  I push the hair out of my face and blow out a breath. “I want you. I want you with me. If I touch you now, I’ll want you in my bed every night. Are you ready for all in Lily?” She looks shocked then looks around. “When you’re ready for all in? That is when I’ll take you. I’m not playing fuckin’ games. It kills me to leave every fuckin’ week. It’s getting harder and harder and that was before I knew you feel something for me and we’re on the same page.”

  Her eyes are huge. “I didn’t know. I’m taking the online courses too. I’ll be done in three months, but I’m working with Kate for three right after that.” She looks nervous.

  “I’m so fuckin’ glad to hear that.”

  She smiles. “I’m glad to hear you say it.”

  Chapter One

  Lily

  She gives me that mothering look. “Are you ready for this Lily?”

  “I’ve been in love with Little Ben my whole life. Nothing has changed except now he sees me as a person and not a possession.”

  She nods. “You didn’t tell him you waited for him Lily. I’m not sure if he’d believe it, but you should have had some kind of talk with him.”

  “I’ll figure it out when I get there. It’s a little embarrassing at my age to admit now and this is as it should be. Tess says it works out. Stop worrying and make sure you bring Aubrey next Sunday.” I hug her and sit in my car. I am not talking about it anymore. Some things shouldn’t be up for discussion and this isn’t, at least as far as I’m concerned.

  I am so excited on the drive down. I follow the bikes in front of me, but think about Eliza and Sheila. I can’t believe she’s back at work, but Eliza says she’s doing well. They are key players for the Women’s Center. No one has women for Security. Little Ben told me Dakota says it works for us. I already knew it would. They’re both so strong it will be a great example to the women they’ll be watching over. As we get closer, bikes are waiting on the side of the highway. They make me nervous. I hit the phone button on the steering wheel.

  “Yeah, Lily.” He sounds distracted.

  “There are bikes following. They were on the side of the highway.”

  “Look at the rocker babe. It’s us. I’m following you on surveillance.” I know he’s smiling.

  We went by them fast; I didn’t check the cut. So much for the Security Specialist first impression I should have made. “Thank you. We went by them fast; I didn’t see it.”

  He doesn’t say anything right away. “I can tell them to slow it down, but I was impatient. Sheila and Eliza are with them. They wanted to be on your first detail.”

  That is so sweet. “No, I’m good. I don’t want them thinking I’m a wimp when they fight men for a living.” I hear Darren laugh. Shit.

  “I’m sure they don’t think you’re a wimp. Sheila has known you for years Lily.” As he’s talking I hear Darren talking. I’m relieved, I thought he was laughing at me. I feel the pressure to do a good job here. “Relax babe. No one knows your job better than you.”

  Can he read my mind now? “How do you know what I’m thinking?”

  He laughs. “Dakota just passed me a note.”

  “Oh thank God. Tell him to mind his own business or I’m talking to Jess. I’m getting off the phone now so I can get there in one piece.” The bikes pull to the exit and I follow. I’m glad they were with me after the whole Sheila thing.

  “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

  “K. Bye.” I hit the button and follow, turning at the compound. Why am I coming here? They don’t stop at the gate. I fly through following them to Little Ben’s house. It’s such a pretty neighborhood. I’m glad they all stayed together. Little Ben is still protective of his Brothers. Maybe more so now than when we were younger.

  He’s waiting on the steps as I pull in. Now I’m nervous. I take a deep breath and smile as he opens my door and puts his hand out for me. I don’t remember a time he hasn’t done this.
I put my hand in his and he gives me one of those looks. He knows I’m nervous. “We’re the same people we were yesterday. I’m so glad you’re here Lily.” He bends and kisses my lips and I feel that jolt he always gives me.

  Darren, Jessie, Dakota and Jess are waiting. Some of the bikes park as he’s bringing me to my new neighbors and old friends. Sheila and Eliza stand with them. “It’s good to finally be here.”

  “Home. It is good to finally have you home,” Dakota says making me smile.

  “Yes.”

  He smiles and hands Little Ben a bag. “Alone Prez.” Little Ben nods and looks at everyone. They hug me telling me it’s good to have me home and then everyone is gone. Wow they left quick.

  “I need my bags from the car.” I turn and he stops me. He already sent a truck up for my things. I’m nervous and looking for something to do with the energy.

  “Prospects already have them inside.” He pulls me to the stairs. I’ve never been in his house. He opens the door and throws the bag in then lifts me up as if we’re married.

  ***

  Little Ben

  Why is she nervous? I lift her up hoping to get a real smile. ‘No experience,’ Dakota says in my head. What? New experience? ‘No, none.’

  I look at her and she’s nervous as fuck. I carry her in and set her down then kiss her. “It feels like I’ve waited my whole life for this moment Lily.”

  She nods with her eyes still huge and a tight look on her face. “Me too.”